Adult joke new pan

 Adult jokes

1, a student, junior, to go to each other and went to the night market to buy a Daikin chain, 15, feces feces yellow yellow, tied around the neck . Students asked stalls of mm: the total will not fade, right? Stalls mm boss said: definitely not out! Students ask: how to do it fade? Stalls mm vouch: fade you speak my uncle! The next day the students went blind date, the agreed time, the other appearance, look, surprise! Actually it was yesterday that the stalls mm. I am very embarrassed students, sweat all down, but the tragedy is that this time, gold chains fade out. . .

2, with a brother last year, when the bet what forgotten, but the loser to go to KFC to buy pancake fruit (Shandong snacks oh). Unfortunately, I lost, so muster the extreme courage, simmering face, went to a MM in front of PL attendant: I want to collapse the time, see what to write down that MM, curiosity, and 10 seconds later after the woman looked up: br> 3, go home today, my brother, because just to do surgery, recovery is not particularly good, so want to buy a sleeper ticket. But the row for a long time it was my turn sleeper tickets are sold out, it is helpless to walk out. Then see the entrance has a pol.ice uncle, I remember asking pol.ice votes 郭德纲 dealers say where the scripts, and instead want to joke about. Walked up to the pol.ice said: trouble ticket dealers that you know is? I want to buy a sleeper. Then Ray came in, pol.ice uncle looked at me for a full minute, I was afraid he caught me, he came to one: I just ... I just ... ... ... ... ... is ... is ... the original is Infernal Affairs 3, last night a group of buddies with his wife and children to eat, man, child A little bit too much, do not know how to say his new girlfriend to find, he said, CN, I deliberately lights on, r Tau, y lips are not pink! cao ~ ~ I turned away and looked at his wife a weak weak, his wife a bit drunk, I saw her look back at me after the >
4, my brother is a chef is the boss, one day a woman came over and asked him: the boss, you need to do boss? -_-

5, I just check the word turf, the first meaning is the grass, and the second means mud, and the third means horse. No way out!

6, I raises a very cute little dog, last winter, when his wife hit a dog sweater, small dog sweaters to lay out to put on, I can see the dog very proud I liked it, then left a lot of wool, thrown Unfortunately, my wife and I decided to give the sweater to play God, since I do wear the same clothes and the dog went out, people do not laugh death of me? Wife do not care, but by only one other sleeve sweater, the wool did not, go to yarn store to buy it, so unfortunately, people have moved to other stores can not find how that yarn, I was extremely intelligent wife Yeah, even the claws extended to the poor dog, the families would wear the sweater to the expense of a few days down, apart, with hot water burns ..... I finally put on her for me sweater hand to play, since every time I wear this sweater, the dog can feel very Youyuan my innocent eyes ....

7,Bailey UGG boots, dormitories have a pretentious guy, his girlfriend clouds ! Ah the slogan: There is no fail to recover the girl. On the spot I am angry, bet 50, so that Hell chase our monitor (different classes). Hell is the cattle, on the spot agreed. He came back the next day, picking up a dime, to the teacher. The teacher was very pleased, on the corner of the class made a to paste a small red flower. This move introduced the children to scramble, and today a small rubber you, tomorrow I a small umbrella. Gradually, we have the names of the following red flowers in succession, and on I did not. I wonder, why some people can stick ten Jiduo small red, I walk down every day, I can not pick up things? Later, a mysterious boy told me, in fact, that the fan is his grandmother, the earrings is ... I understood why his mother was not thought too much, So much that I went to get a small red eyes are green. you know, a group of children, we have the so-called It is very inferior to. So also home to find a little something to the teacher (too expensive and too large false). the teacher took my small red flowers, cows than I two kindergarten children (girls) they're playing >
10, the day bus, ticket money to a 5. . Our little place, buses are private contractors, and the conductor are usually relatives who contracted vehicles found on the bus, selling tickets before and I was a junior high school, junior high school time in the last stay there, very arrogant he and I played several times planes, relations are very bad not seen for many years, and I do not want to revisit the issues, there is no reason he pulled out sheets 20 of the tickets. . He gave me time to answer the phone, find money, so give me 18 5. . . And then she gave me three 10's. . . Thunder, I have not hand money back, he gave me sheets of 50. . Like to see is 20 yuan when the 100 goes I do not like taking advantage of people, but because the relationship is not good, nor talk to her. . Has been stretched out my hand, looking at his back, he did not get to see my hand, looking first at the money, then looked at me. . Said something very bad attitude: how? Not ah? I did not care for him, still holding the money. . He suddenly angry, and a slap my hand, wiped out the money, and simply said: do not take roll quickly, and I silently picked up the money. . Out of the car

11, I opened the taxi, the letter came today in a large Shiqi trendy MM, said that a good 40 car before the start, when the car went to half, MM somber ordered me to : Back when the big letters stopped, MM open end of the car bag of money, and then took out a bunch of keys, one jumped out: Packaging did not split)

12, a mopper just at university, in order to show that they are very personal one, give dormitory name A total of four years linked to more than 20 families ... ...

13, units of a colleague, the Mongols, are often the soul of the god of travel days outside of class people. Home on leave a year, do not leave after a few days back, leading to the call, the phone Ah, said: leadership, I'm still looking for Hulunbeier grassland riding it my home, my family are nomads, and now do not know where to move the.

14, a college student, we had time to eat rice competition. In the cafeteria, we have four men, two pairs, a total of 27 bowls of rice to eat. The kind of small bowl. Eating is a two day white. To walk very carefully, for fear heavy foot rice flowed from his mouth. But fortunately I did not lose. The bet is that the pair were to lose in the cafeteria to feed each other a week. We sat at a table every day and they supervised. They look fierce and complex, filled with righteous indignation was palpable. However, from food to feed each other but is that wood customs million. Cafeteria should be very grateful to our head is. In that week, some of the students eat elsewhere are attracted into a meal here. That is quite the sea of people ah.

15, high school, and once with some friends at home watching the action Ai love film. Suddenly, I stood up from the sofa, shouting: saying This time, we made a response. Friends to lie down on the sofa holding a pillow Zhuangshui a friend b immediately ran out of the textbooks in my room ... ... I rush off the TV and then my dad looked at the door special understanding of the three of us hid at home Look, right? ... ... ... ... And then I slipped into the room dingy shock coming! In this short span of a few seconds! The friend ran into the room, the first English textbook has been copied flamboyant of the two words!

16, today's dinner table ... quotations ... Mom: Son ... a girlfriend yet? I: No ... Mom: as of men to women to specific ... I cried ... I really do not bother ... Dad: OK ... the exchange of wives is to be found to keep a good woman ... Mom: Do not set a bad example my son ... Dad: Your son? That my son do? Mom: how do I know? Go find your own ... I sweat ... mom said to me: be careful because of who you are ... do not soak half back ... Dad: okay ... must not let outsiders field ... I'm impress ... not two old CD respect of the kinky ah ...

17, and her husband outside KF, and together they see very loud SY. . . We also intend to start two ignored. . Later, she shouted the more vigorously. . To. . Emotional impact of watching television. . Zeixiao husband looked at me ask: how to do. So, I took a deep breath. Shouted the sentence aloud. . Ah ~~~~~~~ Dad, You're brilliant ~ ~ ~ ah ~ ~ upstairs fell silent. . Husband Ray down. .

18, a trip back home to find mom in the bath it, hastened to open the toilet door and speak to her, suddenly, after the curtain came my dad muffled voice: >
19, May, and a group of women go out to play, in which a woman motion sickness, vomiting all the way, hair disheveled, messy wind, ten faint haggard. Finally to the destination, opening the car that my sister asked: QJ as not been before? Nod in the crowd wanted to talk about that crazy sister and Youde Q: QJ had a few people like to be? All :......

20, saying the day Zhu brother did a very sorry that we do, we sit back and wait in the bedroom. Soon, Zhu brother threw the bedroom came from the opposite side, we'll be throwing himself on the bed, began a pyramid, Zhu brother started screaming, while you get up from him, he was still there ... I go up tic ... gave him a kick: do not play, we did not use the trial of strength. Zhu brother jumped out with the remaining words in one breath: just looked across the bedroom hair p ... ...

21, University of final exam,Discount UGG boots, candidate number required to fill out on the paper to write on my QQ number of TMD

22, a cup ah, yesterday to break QQ, GF, asked why replied: remember you had sent a poem thing? Heavens above! I want to be together with no absolute decline of long-lived. Mountains have been worn, the rivers have dried up, thunderstorms, snow in summer, of Heaven, and the king is never dare! I said, of course, remember that you and I broke up with GF: because now these things have happened, ah

23, called yesterday a one called see some sign that read his name, then know that the word is

24,UGG boots clearance, had seen a post in the cat pounced, licensing of everyone to the sun after just the first thing her husband said what a few days ago I brought a card, the Bureau of Civil Affairs is still very good intentions The delivery of the 8 boxes TT ... ... and then her husband very happy to say ... ... for the people of the first sentence of Mao is is ! !

25, a friend, one to do yoga, one to go, late, there can be only one entrance is blocked lying position, then began to exercise, after the end of a class, call pulling all levels lying with the ethereal voice of the teacher to guide you to relax. . Then relax. . . . So my friend woke up, yoga room she was the only person. . . . . How to sleep then die. . . Other people are all a step from her past. . . . .

26, said one of my colleagues, she is a very sturdy ** very dare say, often take liberties with her ending up being molested. In the winter cold, she bought a warm handbags, and then there are times to play Lianliankan hand, hand over his, the warm handbags on the thighs and lower abdomen connected to the place, Khan. I see, I told her malicious: ah Juan, warm bag on your right thigh for? Not lift her head: I B cold! B cold ... ...

27, my friend went to Thailand on business, want to touch Aventure. Let alone met a really nice MM! The day went to KF. After passionately kissing. Clothes off. Both of them hard. . .

28, the Southern Metropolis Daily says Sister Furong interview: of Xifeng, I can accept.

29, saying the junior high school that would just spread our booth, and sometimes I look at children's shoes to go self-study accounts for two-machine booth, I wonder not, and then I call him a 110, a dial 119 ... and then reverse the two microphones, a short while condemning ... I came on that cold ah >meals to go, suddenly remembered that left women and girls sharing a joke J. eat the weak weak when I say . . . . Both of us make do with this too good. . . . . Me. . . I already have a boyfriend. . . the handle on the!

32, the day before the bank line to withdraw money, meet downstairs neighbor couple, as if in a fight, the woman to get money to give her a male friend, her husband not to.. have been and her Noisy, fast routed them,bailey UGG boots, a man angry, snatched the book, going out... was a first shift came in and rushed to Yigun leave security turned over.... My poor neighbor today dizziness

33, that was when I read, in order to earn more pocket money, I work in M for almost a year. the thrust of my student days and now feel energetic ah! saying I was a group of long, crying before the class teacher is responsible for class, the teacher said, We called Laoliao) I'm going to go back and see him leave November, you going? she had ten seconds stunned: He is my husband ... no wonder to me before the old crop

35, recently driving test, 6, 5 rear seats, folding borne. the edge of the rear seat belt plugs girl to Ge, and shouted, , I am a nervous, back: What I just said what I want for a long time. Anshuang my mind, does what I want for a long time NDSL? Today, the parcel came, I happily put in the classroom, it also deliberately did not care to Wang Zhuoshang One lost, said: ... a pink bra chest pad 。。。。。。 。。。。。。。。